An organic day

This morning, Bryson and I got up and headed down to City Market in downtown Kansas City with our friends Mitch and Sarah J. Bryson and I had never been to City Market before, and we didn't quite know what to expect. It was such a delight for all my senses. On Saturdays, it's really a huge farmer's market, but then there are some nice little shops too along the way. It was so fresh and produce scented. People were playing music a the corners. There were even some Hare Krishnas sitting along the way playing their finger cymbals. We bought some fresh produce and some tea that smells so good!

We bought most of our produce from a farm stand that had a catchy name.

We then drove out to Trader Joe's, where we had also never been. It was an interesting store!

I'm excited to eat all our fresh fruits and veggies, and drink my wonderfully aromic tea!

Hand over your keys...

Today my family was reminded of how horrible drunk driving can be. Back at my parent's house in Colorado a drunk driver came through my parent's fence at 3:30 this morning. Our house backs up to a fairly busy-ish road. If you're coming in from Boulder, the road is very straight, until it makes a fairly sharp turn right before our house. This is the third time a car has come into our backyard after the bars close. The driver was pronounced dead on the scene in my parent's backyard. They are figuring he was around 21 years old.

DO NOT DRIVE DRUNK. Hand over your keys, have someone drive you, or take a cab. There is no reason to take this risk.

Lord, please be with this person's family as they hear the news this morning. Let someone be with them to let them feel Your presence through this heartache.

Cupcakes!

I love watching the Food Network Cupcake Wars show. I think it is absolutely amazing how beautiful and elegant cupcakes can be. Now, as a music teacher to about 500 kids in an elementary school, I have become kind of a cupcake connoisseur. Unlike when I was a kid, parents are not allowed to make and bring in cupcakes anymore. Everything has to be store bought. I have found that usually, the ones with a Hannah Montana ring in them are not so great, but if you are lucky enough to get one with the whipped cream icing or, dare I say it, a Costco Cupcake, it can make your day. This year, one girl in second grade actually brought gourmet cupcakes for her birthday party. The cake was vanilla and had strawberry icing, with real strawberries in it. It was the most delectable cupcake I had ever eaten. I have been suffering from cupcake withdrawal since it has been summer. So last night while watching Cupcake Wars, I ventured out to the world wide web to find a gourmet cupcake store in Kansas City. I found a really cute site for a place down on the Plaza called Cupcake A La Mode.

I called up my friend Rochelle and asked if I could take her out for a cupcake today. We got down to the Plaza and found the cutest little store with black and pink decorations all inside. They had about 20 different flavors and all looked amazing. We selected our cupcakes.

Rochelle got the After Dinner Mint

I got the Peanut Butter Kiss

And of course, I needed to bring some home for the husband. From left to right we have Stuffed French Toast, Mama Mia (tiramisu) and Marshmallow Dream (s'more).

The cupcakes were so delicious! What a fun date with my great friend!

Show Me

Today, I discovered Audrey Assad on a friend's Facebook page. Her song writing is the best I have heard in so long. The song that I have fallen in love with is called Show Me. Audrey describes this song as a song of redemptive suffering.

"It's about not wanting God to take away the pain just yet because I know it's worth something," she said. "And I have something to learn so just leave me here for right now, but be with me."

I don't have much else to say about the song that I haven't expressed in previous blogs, but it really spoke to me today. After my injection I had a really bad couple days, but that is been followed by a good couple days. I have no idea what the path for healing holds in store for me, but as I do continue to pray for healing, I pray harder for God to be here with me through it all.

Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die
Oh, not before You show me how to die

So let me go like a leaf upon the water
Let me brave the wild currents flowing to the sea
And I will disappear into a deeper beauty
But for now just stay with me
God, for now just stay with me

Gross.

Notice the time of this picture. Yup, it says 10:05 PM. Notice the "Feels like" temperature. This has been pretty normal for the last two weeks. Our AC bill is going to be atrocious this month.

A new do

It has been SOOOO hot in KC. We haven't had a heat index day below 105 for at least a week and a half I believe. My hair has been SO hot and heavy in this weather.

And I want something low maintenance in case I have to have surgery soon.

And I wanted a change.

And I am a crazy impulse hair-cutter. I decide I want it cut on a whim and go do it right away.

So...

Before:

After!

I got a little scared about half way through the haircut (at that point it was WAY too late to turn back) but I think I like it now! I think I took off about 10 inches.

Exodus 17:8-13

The Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites at Rephidim. Moses said to Joshua, "Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands."

So Joshua found the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever hie lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up - one on one side, one on the other - so that his hands remained stead till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.

Much thanks to all who are holding up my hands through this battle!

prayers!

Lord, please, please, please keep the kiddos and the adults safe in this heat while they work in Chicago! Help them to stay safe in the heat, remember to drink water and Gatorade and not over work themselves. Keep a sense of peace on them and patience as they work through the heat.

Please continue not just to give them drinks for their thirst, but water of life for their hearts and minds. Continue to open their hearts to any calling you may be giving to these kids and let them see you more clearly as they continue the week.

In Your holy name we pray, Amen.

Wonderful friends

Today I got another injection in my back. They used an epidural needle to inject steroids into my lower back. This is my 4th one I've had in the last 10 months, so either the pain will go away, or I will look like the Hulk with my roided up back. We also got my MRI results back, which showed a more severe herniation on my left side than the first MRI showed. I will go to a surgeon next month.

With Bryson being gone this week, I am so thankful for how much support we have here in Missouri. You can't drive after an injection, so my wonderful friend Ann drove me there and waited (it was an hour wait just in the waiting room before they call me back) and to take me, my other amazing friend Sarah watched Ann's so Ann could take me. I have a lovely friend, Rochelle coming to visit me, and another great friend, Allison, offered to bring my lunch. My facebook wall has been FILLED with well wishes and lots of prayers. I am so incredibly blessed to have such a great support system to take care of me here and such a great network of prayers back in Colorado. I am so blessed.

The thread of our life would be dark, Heaven knows
If it were not with friendship and love intertwined;
And I care not how soon I may sink to repose,
When these blessing shall cease to be dear to my mind.
But they who have loved the fondest, the purest,
Too often have wept o'er the dream they believed;
And the heart that has slumber'd in friendship securest
Is happy indeed if 'twas never deceived.
But send round the bowl; while a relic of truth
Is in man or in woman, this prayer shall be mine, --
That the sunshine of love may illumine our youth,
And the moonlight of friendship console our decline. - Thomas Moore

prayer for the kids

Lord, please bless the kids as they begin work today. Please keep everyone safe and patient with the work. Keep them cool and not overheat. Give them a time to rest in you as well and feel how they are blessing others by being a light for you in Chicago. Help them travel safely to and from the worksite this week and keep them energized and patient with each other. In Your name, Amen.

a prayer warrior

The coffee is brewing in the pot this morning for Bryson to take to Chicago. The coffee will be traveling with 8 youth and 3 other adults for a week of mission work in Chicago.

I am so proud of my husband and his commitment to the Lord and to growing the spiritual lives of the kids in our youth group. He is a wonderful man and this morning I am praying for their safety, strength, patience, and attitudes through their work in the inner city of Chicago.

But I am also quite sad too. I have always thought about teaching at an inner-city school and bugged Bryson for the last few years to take the kids on an inner-city mission work camp. I don't get to go because of my back problems. It again makes me question, "Why?" and I don't really understand why someone who has a heart for the inner city has to stay home on the couch, hurting.

Here is my positive spin that I am going for though (and by writing it, perhaps I will feel positive about it!). This week I am going to try to embrace my job as the youth group's prayer warrior. While I can't be on the trip, I am going to be faithful in prayer to my husband and the kids and adults that he is taking with him. And it will start this morning, before they leave.

Lord, please be with Bryson, Jeff, Kiz, Vicky and all the kids as they head to Chicago today. Please be with them on the road and let them safely arrive this evening. Give the adults patience and a steady mind as they drive. As they travel today, please prepare each of their hearts for an encounter with You this week. Let them not leave the week unchanged, but instead on fire for love of You. In Your name, Amen.

better day

I am DONE with my first draft (once edited by me) of my 25 page review of literature!!! Just need to have a few others send me back edits and go over my citations. My next chapter I will start next weekend, the methodology section of exactly how I will conduct my research study.

Though my back is hurting a lot more today (no anti-inflammatory drugs allowed until after my injection on Tuesday), I am feeling MUCH better about my thesis! Thanks Lord!

Not much optimism

I told a friend the other day that I only try to blog my optimistic thoughts. The pessimistic thoughts come all too often without me holding on to them over the blogisphere. She told me to blog the bad stuff too, because God is in that as well. So today, a not as chipper post.

Not feeling overly optimistic today. My head is spinning a little from the research I am doing for my thesis. Sometimes I really feel like I am probably way off on my theories I am putting forth. Am I reading the research studies right? Am I really making good comparisons? Do I have any idea what I am talking about? I'm feeling pretty jealous of all my teaching buddies who are having great summers hanging with their kids and going on great trips while I sit at home and work my tail off. Any time I do get to go out, I can only handle an hour or two before I am hurting too much. I am sure it will be worth it when I have a copy of thesis in hand, but I would really like to get to play for a couple days too without being in pain. Today I am really struggling with it all being well with my soul.

Mark 9:24 - "I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!"

Freedom

This came on my iTunes today. It is by Sweet Honey and the Rock and I loved the words.

Ella's Song

Lyrics and music by Bernice Johnson Reagon
Sung by Sweet Honey in the Rock

We who believe in freedom cannot rest
We who believe in freedom cannot rest until it comes

Until the killing of black men, black mothers' sons
Is as important as the killing of white men, white mothers' sons

That which touches me most is that I had a chance to work with people
Passing on to others that which was passed on to me

To me young people come first, they have the courage where we fail
And if I can but shed some light as they carry us through the gale

The older I get the better I know that the secret of my going on
Is when the reins are in the hands of the young, who dare to run against the storm

Not needing to clutch for power, not needing the light just to shine on me
I need to be one in the number as we stand against tyranny

Struggling myself don't mean a whole lot, I've come to realize
That teaching others to stand up and fight is the only way my struggle survives

I'm a woman who speaks in a voice and I must be heard
At times I can be quite difficult, I'll bow to no man's word

We who believe in freedom cannot rest
We who believe in freedom cannot rest until it comes

The plans...

Today I read a blog of one of my friends from high school. Heather was a good friend of mine when I was a freshman in high school and she was a senior. Her post today was about their search for a new home, and it reminded me about God's plan for our lives. Our plans most likely don't always match up with God's plans. Let's just say, my plan doesn't really mirror my reality these days. I didn't think that at 26 years old a coffee date with a friend would make me have to go lie down and take some meds. However, as I was rolled into my second MRI machine of the year this morning, I could feel God's presence calming me and letting me know that though my plans don't match up with His right now, he is holding me through this trial. I don't know why God has this plan for me right now, but I do know that I am learning the meaning of great line of the old hymn, "Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul."

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." - Jeremiah 29:11-13

Back to Missoura

We made it back to Missouri on Saturday night. We had such a wonderful time in Colorado with friends and family and it was in many ways very hard to leave. When we rolled down the window outside of Topeka, we were greeted by what felt like someone smothering us with a damp, warm sponge. It was so gross! It took all that was in us to not turn back around for the wonderful air of Colorado.

However, in other ways, it was nice to get back to our home and our lives out here. We have so many friends out here who love us that I missed and it was good to be back to work in what God has called us to do here in Independence. But also, our time with family in Colorado made me realize something else. We stayed in many places over the last three weeks and we didn't have much time to be with just each other over the last few weeks. On the way back to Missouri, I told Bryson how thankful I was that we DID move away from family and friends. If we had stayed in Longmont or Denver, I am sure that we would have frequently defaulted on going to our parent's houses or friends houses frequently. However, the last three years has given us a chance to completely depend on each other when we had few friends out here in the beginning, and a chance to grow and strengthen our marriage when we're not running to family all the time. We have started our own traditions instead of just adopting the ones we grew up with and I feel we have laid such a strong foundation for the years ahead. Don't get me wrong, I will be excited to (hopefully) be near family when we are moved next. However, I will always treasure the Missoura years of our marriage.

On a completely different note, being in my class that I was taking and the drive back have sent my back and all the nerves in my lower body in complete havoc. Just putting my legs out in front of me while I sit on the couch hurts like crazy. We are off to the specialist doctor tomorrow, and would appreciate prayers for wisdom for the doctor and some answers for possible healing.